The Ultimate Feel-Good Playlist.

So, I suppose the biggest news in the two months since I've posted is that my best female friend is getting married. And this news is hot off the presses, as I found out about it at about 8:30 last night. While I'm happy for her, I'm a little jealous as well. Not of the guy, I wish them both the best. No, I think I'm just jealous that... Well, that I'm single. Now, assuming that there are people who actually read this blog aside from me, I'm sure that you, dear hypothetical reader, are wondering what the hell this has to do with music. I'm getting to that. I've discovered that people react to depression in strange ways. Some people sit down with a tube of cookie dough and eat the whole thing, I listen to music. As such, when my biological clock (yes, men have them too, although they are called sissies when they admit it) hit midnight and started ringing, I sat down with a few cd's to see what I could do to sweep away this funk.
First of all, there is a strange, almost undefinable quality to a song that can bring you out of a depression. They can be happy and poppy, like the ultimate good times song, "Steal My Sunshine" by Len. Or they can be absolutely miserably mournful and haunting, like "Amen Omen", by Ben Harper. Yet both of those songs received play tonight, and have helped put me in a markedly better mood than I've been in since I first heard the news. (And I know, it's selfish of me to be depressed when my best friend is happy. But fuck, I'm sick of being single. So sue me.) So, with that in mind, I'm going to see if I can come up with an unbeatable good times mix, guaranteed to bring you out of the deepest funk (guarantee void in Wisconsin).

Track 01 - "Steal My Sunshine", Len
I know I mentioned it before, but it really is one of the best good time songs out there. Every time I hear it, I think of driving down the road with a car full of good friends in the summer, the wind blowing in your hair, and the scent of sand and salt letting your know that the beach is near. Don't know how I get all of that out of this song, but it just sounds like summer to me.

Track 02 - "Dreaming of You", The Coral
This song demonstrates the principle I was trying to explain above. This song kind of straddles the line between being poppy and fun while at the same time dealing with loneliness and leaving someone behind only to realize that it was the biggest mistake you ever made. But with a nice bass line, a guitar solo that fits perfectly into the song without being a tedious display of fretwork and shredding skills, you'll be too busy rocking out to be bummed. Plus, this song was the backing to the raunchiest sex scene I've ever seen on network television. This song was playing while JD banged Elliot in the Christmas episode of Scrubs. It wasn't even that it was all that shocking, it's just that it with the haphazard way it happened, with them tripping over everything in the room, knocking shit over, and basically destroying his house before flopping onto the couch with a sock still hanging off one foot, it was certainly the most realistic portrayal of abrupt, desperate sex I've ever seen on TV.

Track 03 - "Dance, Dance", Fallout Boy
Even if you don't like Fallout Boy, watching the video for this will put a smile on your face, just for the painfully awkward interlude when the boy stutters out an invitation to dance and is left standing while the girls walk away laughing. Wow, put that way, I sound like a heartless bastard. But it's one of those universally recognizable scenes that are funny because at some point, we've all been there. And, the song falls into the category of poppy good times, too, so that helps.

Track 04 - "Less Talk, More Rokk", Freezepop
Yes, I'll be the first to admit it, I first heard this song by playing the bonus songs on Guitar Hero. But, even though I hate to admit it, this band is slowly growing on me. They're certainly not breaking any new ground, following a pretty standard template for electropop (let's see, keytar? Check. Female vocalist? Check. Occasional use of vocoder? Check. Phoned in drums that are probably coming from a drum machine? Check), but they do it in such a way that you really can't fault them for sticking to what works. And, besides, she just wants to rock. You can't really fault her for that, now can you?

Track 05 - "Everybody's Getting Hooked Up", Gob
Again, Gob certainly isn't breaking any new ground here. They are churning out competent four-chord punk with an appropriately gritty-sounding vocalist. But this song just has something about it that snags in the brain like a fish hook (at least mine, anyway). Besides, every feel good album needs a song about trying to get laid as much as possible on it. It's in the rules.

Track 06 - "Start Wearing Purple", Gogol Bordello
Admittedly, this song will sound strange at first. The heavily accented singer backed up by what sounds like a gypsy band banging on garbage can lids, playing the accordion, and the chorus of "nananas" provided by backing gypsies, it's not the most radio friendly song on this mix by a long shot. But goddamn if it doesn't get your toes tappin'.

Track 07 - "Hate To Say I Told You So", The Hives
If you haven't heard this song by now, then welcome to Earth, Mr. Mxylptlk. The Hives have been on everything by now, from movies to video games to a commercial for Cartoon Network(!), singing about how school sucks and they wish that summer would never end. All of their songs could fit on this list pretty easily, but this one is the one I'm picking, because the YEEAAAHHH! in the middle of the song is so cathartic to sing along with, you feel like you've had an enema when you're done. It's like primal scream therapy, really.

Track 08 - "Jambalaya on the Bayou", Hank Williams Sr.
I know that the genres are bouncing all over the place here, but this song earns its spot on this list just as readily as any of the others. Half the fun comes from trying to decipher the nonsensical gumbo of Cajun, broken English, and just plain out nonsense that makes up the lyrics, and the other half comes from the fact that when it does make sense, it sounds like Hank's singing about a pretty rockin' party going down.

Track 09 - "Huzzah!", Witch's Hat
Come on, you didn't really think that this list was going to end without this one making the rotation, did you? This one is just fun, no matter who you are. Its lyrics are about as nerdy as they get, telling the age-old story of the brave knight saving the virgin princess from the clutches of the evil dragon. But, goddamn if it ain't set to a hell of a snappy song. Imagine if Tenacious D stayed up all night playing Dungeons and Dragons with Ronny Dio, and you're halfway there. And if that sounds wrong to you, well baby, I don't wanna be right.

Track 10 - "Snakes on a Plane (Bring It)", Cobra Starship
Yeah, I know. This is the epitome of cheesiness right here, but come on. It starts out with Samuel L. Jackson's famous line, features vocals from members of The Academy Is..., The Sounds, and Gym Class Heroes, with the bass provided by Pete Wentz of Fallout Boy, it's like the modern equivalent of that "We Are The World" song where everybody joined in to cure AIDS or something like that (yeah, registering about a -1 on the social consciousness and tact meter right about now), only instead of going towards a good cause, it was the credits song for a shitty B-movie that also brings a smile to my face.

Track 11 - "Rage", Chromeo
Have you ever wondered what it would sound like if you wrote a song about how pissed off you were, and then had an 8-foot tall skinny Jewish guy with a vocoder backed by a guy with gold teeth and keyboard would sound? Well, wonder no more, 'cause the answer is simple. It would sound awesome. Don't believe me, try this one out.

Track 12 - "Amen Omen", Ben Harper
I don't get it either. This song sounds so mournful that it makes a lump form in my throat every time. In my mind, I see a man sitting in a room with a wooden floor, sitting in the chair and looking out the window into a rainy street, watching the passerby, completely ignoring him as he sings this sad ass song. Harper manages to put some real emotion into it as well; at some points, his voice wavers as though he's on the verge of bursting into tears. But this song is refreshing the way a good cry can be. It scours you out from the inside, leaving you feeling a little raw and tender, but pink and refreshed as well, like new skin healing over a blister.

Track 13 - "Megan", Smoking Popes and/or Bayside
Either version of this song is absolutely fantastic, although personally, I prefer the acoustic version performed by Bayside. If you've never heard this song, this isn't exactly the most upbeat song in the world either. The lyrics talk about a guy who keeps thinking that somebody is trying to get him to move away from whatever he is doing, and he waits stolidly for the titular character to appear. He is rewarded (I guess) when he goes and sits down on the tracks to wait for Megan, until someone comes and takes his hand. The song ends with the lines "I finally had to go/But Megan I just wanted you to know/That I waited as long as I could". There are several ways this song could be interpreted, the most obvious being that he got plowed by the train and smeared like a booger along the tracks, but for some reason, the tone is just so hopeful that it's hard to be brought down by it.

Track 14 - "1234", Feist
This song is just beautiful, really. It's about the most perfect feel-good song, maybe even taking the title from "Steal My Sunshine". I have no idea what the hell she's singing about, but she sounds like she's having so much fun with it, and she sounds just so adorable singing it, the song could turn out to be about sacrificing children to the Dark Lord himself, and it would still make this list.

Track 15 - "Venus as a Boy", Bjork
This one is in the same vein as "1234", just a really poppy happy time song perfectly executed. If you're not smiling by the one-two punch of Bjork and Feist, then you're probably dead.

Track 16 - "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea", Neutral Milk Hotel
The last song I've picked again straddles the line between poppy and depressing, but the tone is just so optimistic (this dichotomy perfectly illustrated by the lines "One day we will die/and our ashes will fly/from the aeroplane over the sea/But for now we are young/Let us lay in the sun and count every beautiful thing we can see") that it's hard to be brought down by it.

Now, I do know that you, dear hypothetical reader, are going to disagree with some of these tracks. Hell, you may print this list out just to wipe your ass with it. All I know is that this worked pretty well for me. So next time you're bummed, burn this cd, put it in, and let the good times roll. By the way, if you do feel the need to actually print this list out (either to burn the songs or wipe your ass with it), here's a recap in easy, printer-friendly form.

Track 1 - "Steal My Sunshine", Len
Track 2 - "Dreaming of You", The Coral
Track 3 - "Dance, Dance", Fallout Boy
Track 4 - "Less Talk, More Rokk", Freezepop
Track 5 - "Everybody's Getting Hooked Up", Gob
Track 6 - "Start Wearing Purple", Gogol Bordello
Track 7 - "Hate to Say I Told You So", The Hives
Track 8 - "Jambalaya On The Bayou", Hank Williams, Sr.
Track 9 - "Huzzah!", Witch's Hat
Track 10 - "Snakes on a Plane (Bring It", by Cobra Starship
Track 11 - "Rage", Chromeo
Track 12 - "Amen Omen", Ben Harper
Track 13 - "Megan", Smoking Popes/Bayside (either)
Track 14 - "1234", Feist
Track 15 - "Venus as a Boy", Bjork
Track 16 - "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea", Neutral Milk Hotel

My mind appreciates puns, apparently...

My mind works best with the appropriate music in the background. Lately, I've been working on a sequel to a novel that I'm currently shipping out. Both novels deal with the forces of good and evil in the form of angels and demons (with nary a hint of Tom Hanks to be seen... cue rimshot). The characters involved include a noir detective and the obligatory half-human half-demon heroine. So what does this have to do with the price of rice in China? Well, nothing, if you want to take that question literally. But, my point is that the CD I'm currently listening to is called Demon Crossing by a band called Yellow #9. If you haven't heard them then the best way to describe them is this.
Imagine a nightclub, circa 1945. Onstage is a woman in a sultry red dress, with a sultry voice that has been weighted down with whiskey and cigarettes. The band is unobtrusive, as the singer is front row center with her sparkling red gown and elbow length black gloves.
You know, your typical film noir type nightclub scene.
Why do I ask you to imagine this? Simple. Because this is exactly the scene I picture in my head, down to the smoke rings circling the toughs in fedoras and shoulder holsters in the front row, every time I throw this CD in. Don't know why, either. It's just one of those things that happens every time. The song Lust in particular sounds like something that the sultry songbird would sing in a tough-talking detective story. And I've actually built a scene in my head around a song called Jackie to put into one of books in the series I'm working on. The song actually has nothing to do with the scene other than the demon that my detective runs into at the bar is named, in fact, Jacky.
Not everything on the album is perfect, however. You can safely skip over Bad Girl, one of the few missteps on the album. Bad Girl is a 30 second bit of what sounds like a drunken hobo saying, “She's a bad girl. Don't know why she's bad. She's a bad girl.” That's it. Whee.
Hair of the Dog puts the album back into strong form, although it keeps up the pace with a few other notable mentions (ICFCFBM, despite the fact that the lyrics are terrible, and Seven Addictions are both strong entries, although without the same feel that inspires little film noir movies to run in my head). Hair of the Dog in particular has an interesting jazzy, nightclub-just-before-closing-time feel to it. So, if any of this fascinates you, or you think that you want to write demon-oriented noir as well, check out Yellow #9 and Demon Crossing. It's interesting, to say the least. And if you don't like it, well...



Tough shit.

Opening salvo...

I've decided that I'm going to start a musical blog. Now, by that, I certainly don't mean that it will play a happy little tune for you every time you open this thing up. Fuck that. I don't want this to turn into the 21st century equivalent of that music box that sat on your grandmothers nightstand that you hated growing up. Even were I to pick a song to play on here that I thought was the best damn song in the world (or even “Tribute”, the self-described best song in the world), someone would come along and sniff at my musical taste. That's fine, I don't really care if somebody wants to dismiss my musical tastes as puerile, nonsensical bullshit. They may be right, they may be wrong, but in either case, I don't really give a rosy red fuck. Really, all I want to do with this is just shoot the shit for a while, let people know what I'm listening to, spout off any non sequiturs that spring to mind as a result of what I'm listening to, and basically open up the channels for anyone to sound off on this shit. Do you like what I'm recommending, do you hate it, have you never heard of it, do you wish you'd never heard of it? Eh, no matter what, it's all cool.
That being said, let's get this party started. For the record, how many of you have ever heard of a band called Witch's Hat? Offhand, I'm guessing there's about three of you out there that are saying you have. You three get a cookie. Everyone else, give them a listen. They're certainly not for everyone, and their album is hard to find, so you're probably going to have to go to their Myspace page (http://www.myspace.com/witchshat) to give them a try. My internet is acting funny right now, so I can't actually tell you which songs are on their playlist right now, but if they're on there, I highly recommend listening to “Huzzah!”, “Glodyany, 1972”, and/or “Popsicles”. All three of these songs are catchier than syphilis in a Bangkok whorehouse, and, love 'em or hate 'em, you're going to have them stuck in your head for the next three weeks. Minimum.
“Huzzah!” is probably the most easily accessible of the three, assuming that you can get over the fact that it is just about the nerdiest song ever written. The song describes the adventures of a knight (referred to throughout as “a hero oh so bold”) and his quest to save a virgin princess from the clutches of an evil dragon. Despite the fact that the narrative is nothing more than a very basic bit of nerd bait (with the video centering on a lowly office worker who becomes the aforementioned hero each night when he logs onto his World of Warcraft account), but once you get past that bit of off-putting business, you find one of the best party anthems ever. With an awesome bass line, some pretty nifty-although-not-godlike shredding on the lead guitar, and a chorus tailor-made for those drunken singalong nights, “Huzzah!” is one hell of a song to nerd out to.
“Glodyany, 1972” is cut from the same cloth as “Huzzah!”, albeit much darker in tone. The narrative of this song follows a young man setting out to see the world when he is seduced and bitten by a “tall, pale vixen”, turning him into a vampire. He is then forced to live in a “weary, run-down castle” for the next three hundred years, preying on the villagers even as they try to bring him down. In the beginning, he cowers from the villagers and ponders his fate. By the third verse, though, he's accepted who and what he is, and taunts the villagers by saying “Come and take me if you can/ I'm ready/ I'm waiting”. Although this one lacks the party atmosphere of “Huzzah!” as well as an instantly joinable chorus, “Glodyany” is definitely the equal of “Huzzah!” in terms of ass kickery, with an interesting guitar line and a strange, almost dreamlike quality lent by what sounds like a ten dollar Kawasaki synthesizer providing back up for most of the song.
“Popsicles” (pronounced pop-sick-lees throughout) seems to be both a song about a mythical crew of air pirates or something like that, who are content to “fly by yelling hey there suck on this”, as well as a thinly veiled homage to Otter Pops. I know, that doesn't make any sense to me either, but the connection is definitely there in lines like “You're only fodder for the Otter/ We're gonna slaughter you and leave you in our wake”. And that's the thing about Witch's Hat. They never seem to take themselves seriously enough to ruin their fun, but they're also not as in your face about the fact that they're having a bit of a laugh as people like Weird Al. (Yeah, I know, no one as in your face about it as Weird Al, but he's the first one to come to mind. Lay off) If you're willing to get past the fact that some of their songs sound as though they were written during an all-night session of some intense D&D games, then Witch's Hat proves to be one of the rockinest bands out there, especially if you like your bands with a pinch of humor in the mix. And, if by some chance you happen to stumble across “Dance Machine” while you're looking these guys up, trust me, try it out too. It's worth it just for the “binary solo” in the middle of the Dance Machine's soliloquy. Not to mention that it's, fittingly enough, about the toe-tappingest song on the album.
Other than Witch's Hat, I've been going through some of my old albums, and actually solved an age-old mystery. You see, I'd heard my brothers quote what I thought was a line from, say, Heathers, maybe, or perhaps Fast Times at Ridgemont High. Seeings as how I've never seen either movie all the way through to the end credits (and cue the incredulous WHHHHAAAATTTT comments right about... now), I really had no idea where the line, “All I know, is that there were rumors that he was into field hockey players”, came from. Turns out it's just Kim Deal talking at the end of one of the songs on Surfer Rosa. Huh. Who knew?