The Ultimate Feel-Good Playlist.

So, I suppose the biggest news in the two months since I've posted is that my best female friend is getting married. And this news is hot off the presses, as I found out about it at about 8:30 last night. While I'm happy for her, I'm a little jealous as well. Not of the guy, I wish them both the best. No, I think I'm just jealous that... Well, that I'm single. Now, assuming that there are people who actually read this blog aside from me, I'm sure that you, dear hypothetical reader, are wondering what the hell this has to do with music. I'm getting to that. I've discovered that people react to depression in strange ways. Some people sit down with a tube of cookie dough and eat the whole thing, I listen to music. As such, when my biological clock (yes, men have them too, although they are called sissies when they admit it) hit midnight and started ringing, I sat down with a few cd's to see what I could do to sweep away this funk.
First of all, there is a strange, almost undefinable quality to a song that can bring you out of a depression. They can be happy and poppy, like the ultimate good times song, "Steal My Sunshine" by Len. Or they can be absolutely miserably mournful and haunting, like "Amen Omen", by Ben Harper. Yet both of those songs received play tonight, and have helped put me in a markedly better mood than I've been in since I first heard the news. (And I know, it's selfish of me to be depressed when my best friend is happy. But fuck, I'm sick of being single. So sue me.) So, with that in mind, I'm going to see if I can come up with an unbeatable good times mix, guaranteed to bring you out of the deepest funk (guarantee void in Wisconsin).

Track 01 - "Steal My Sunshine", Len
I know I mentioned it before, but it really is one of the best good time songs out there. Every time I hear it, I think of driving down the road with a car full of good friends in the summer, the wind blowing in your hair, and the scent of sand and salt letting your know that the beach is near. Don't know how I get all of that out of this song, but it just sounds like summer to me.

Track 02 - "Dreaming of You", The Coral
This song demonstrates the principle I was trying to explain above. This song kind of straddles the line between being poppy and fun while at the same time dealing with loneliness and leaving someone behind only to realize that it was the biggest mistake you ever made. But with a nice bass line, a guitar solo that fits perfectly into the song without being a tedious display of fretwork and shredding skills, you'll be too busy rocking out to be bummed. Plus, this song was the backing to the raunchiest sex scene I've ever seen on network television. This song was playing while JD banged Elliot in the Christmas episode of Scrubs. It wasn't even that it was all that shocking, it's just that it with the haphazard way it happened, with them tripping over everything in the room, knocking shit over, and basically destroying his house before flopping onto the couch with a sock still hanging off one foot, it was certainly the most realistic portrayal of abrupt, desperate sex I've ever seen on TV.

Track 03 - "Dance, Dance", Fallout Boy
Even if you don't like Fallout Boy, watching the video for this will put a smile on your face, just for the painfully awkward interlude when the boy stutters out an invitation to dance and is left standing while the girls walk away laughing. Wow, put that way, I sound like a heartless bastard. But it's one of those universally recognizable scenes that are funny because at some point, we've all been there. And, the song falls into the category of poppy good times, too, so that helps.

Track 04 - "Less Talk, More Rokk", Freezepop
Yes, I'll be the first to admit it, I first heard this song by playing the bonus songs on Guitar Hero. But, even though I hate to admit it, this band is slowly growing on me. They're certainly not breaking any new ground, following a pretty standard template for electropop (let's see, keytar? Check. Female vocalist? Check. Occasional use of vocoder? Check. Phoned in drums that are probably coming from a drum machine? Check), but they do it in such a way that you really can't fault them for sticking to what works. And, besides, she just wants to rock. You can't really fault her for that, now can you?

Track 05 - "Everybody's Getting Hooked Up", Gob
Again, Gob certainly isn't breaking any new ground here. They are churning out competent four-chord punk with an appropriately gritty-sounding vocalist. But this song just has something about it that snags in the brain like a fish hook (at least mine, anyway). Besides, every feel good album needs a song about trying to get laid as much as possible on it. It's in the rules.

Track 06 - "Start Wearing Purple", Gogol Bordello
Admittedly, this song will sound strange at first. The heavily accented singer backed up by what sounds like a gypsy band banging on garbage can lids, playing the accordion, and the chorus of "nananas" provided by backing gypsies, it's not the most radio friendly song on this mix by a long shot. But goddamn if it doesn't get your toes tappin'.

Track 07 - "Hate To Say I Told You So", The Hives
If you haven't heard this song by now, then welcome to Earth, Mr. Mxylptlk. The Hives have been on everything by now, from movies to video games to a commercial for Cartoon Network(!), singing about how school sucks and they wish that summer would never end. All of their songs could fit on this list pretty easily, but this one is the one I'm picking, because the YEEAAAHHH! in the middle of the song is so cathartic to sing along with, you feel like you've had an enema when you're done. It's like primal scream therapy, really.

Track 08 - "Jambalaya on the Bayou", Hank Williams Sr.
I know that the genres are bouncing all over the place here, but this song earns its spot on this list just as readily as any of the others. Half the fun comes from trying to decipher the nonsensical gumbo of Cajun, broken English, and just plain out nonsense that makes up the lyrics, and the other half comes from the fact that when it does make sense, it sounds like Hank's singing about a pretty rockin' party going down.

Track 09 - "Huzzah!", Witch's Hat
Come on, you didn't really think that this list was going to end without this one making the rotation, did you? This one is just fun, no matter who you are. Its lyrics are about as nerdy as they get, telling the age-old story of the brave knight saving the virgin princess from the clutches of the evil dragon. But, goddamn if it ain't set to a hell of a snappy song. Imagine if Tenacious D stayed up all night playing Dungeons and Dragons with Ronny Dio, and you're halfway there. And if that sounds wrong to you, well baby, I don't wanna be right.

Track 10 - "Snakes on a Plane (Bring It)", Cobra Starship
Yeah, I know. This is the epitome of cheesiness right here, but come on. It starts out with Samuel L. Jackson's famous line, features vocals from members of The Academy Is..., The Sounds, and Gym Class Heroes, with the bass provided by Pete Wentz of Fallout Boy, it's like the modern equivalent of that "We Are The World" song where everybody joined in to cure AIDS or something like that (yeah, registering about a -1 on the social consciousness and tact meter right about now), only instead of going towards a good cause, it was the credits song for a shitty B-movie that also brings a smile to my face.

Track 11 - "Rage", Chromeo
Have you ever wondered what it would sound like if you wrote a song about how pissed off you were, and then had an 8-foot tall skinny Jewish guy with a vocoder backed by a guy with gold teeth and keyboard would sound? Well, wonder no more, 'cause the answer is simple. It would sound awesome. Don't believe me, try this one out.

Track 12 - "Amen Omen", Ben Harper
I don't get it either. This song sounds so mournful that it makes a lump form in my throat every time. In my mind, I see a man sitting in a room with a wooden floor, sitting in the chair and looking out the window into a rainy street, watching the passerby, completely ignoring him as he sings this sad ass song. Harper manages to put some real emotion into it as well; at some points, his voice wavers as though he's on the verge of bursting into tears. But this song is refreshing the way a good cry can be. It scours you out from the inside, leaving you feeling a little raw and tender, but pink and refreshed as well, like new skin healing over a blister.

Track 13 - "Megan", Smoking Popes and/or Bayside
Either version of this song is absolutely fantastic, although personally, I prefer the acoustic version performed by Bayside. If you've never heard this song, this isn't exactly the most upbeat song in the world either. The lyrics talk about a guy who keeps thinking that somebody is trying to get him to move away from whatever he is doing, and he waits stolidly for the titular character to appear. He is rewarded (I guess) when he goes and sits down on the tracks to wait for Megan, until someone comes and takes his hand. The song ends with the lines "I finally had to go/But Megan I just wanted you to know/That I waited as long as I could". There are several ways this song could be interpreted, the most obvious being that he got plowed by the train and smeared like a booger along the tracks, but for some reason, the tone is just so hopeful that it's hard to be brought down by it.

Track 14 - "1234", Feist
This song is just beautiful, really. It's about the most perfect feel-good song, maybe even taking the title from "Steal My Sunshine". I have no idea what the hell she's singing about, but she sounds like she's having so much fun with it, and she sounds just so adorable singing it, the song could turn out to be about sacrificing children to the Dark Lord himself, and it would still make this list.

Track 15 - "Venus as a Boy", Bjork
This one is in the same vein as "1234", just a really poppy happy time song perfectly executed. If you're not smiling by the one-two punch of Bjork and Feist, then you're probably dead.

Track 16 - "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea", Neutral Milk Hotel
The last song I've picked again straddles the line between poppy and depressing, but the tone is just so optimistic (this dichotomy perfectly illustrated by the lines "One day we will die/and our ashes will fly/from the aeroplane over the sea/But for now we are young/Let us lay in the sun and count every beautiful thing we can see") that it's hard to be brought down by it.

Now, I do know that you, dear hypothetical reader, are going to disagree with some of these tracks. Hell, you may print this list out just to wipe your ass with it. All I know is that this worked pretty well for me. So next time you're bummed, burn this cd, put it in, and let the good times roll. By the way, if you do feel the need to actually print this list out (either to burn the songs or wipe your ass with it), here's a recap in easy, printer-friendly form.

Track 1 - "Steal My Sunshine", Len
Track 2 - "Dreaming of You", The Coral
Track 3 - "Dance, Dance", Fallout Boy
Track 4 - "Less Talk, More Rokk", Freezepop
Track 5 - "Everybody's Getting Hooked Up", Gob
Track 6 - "Start Wearing Purple", Gogol Bordello
Track 7 - "Hate to Say I Told You So", The Hives
Track 8 - "Jambalaya On The Bayou", Hank Williams, Sr.
Track 9 - "Huzzah!", Witch's Hat
Track 10 - "Snakes on a Plane (Bring It", by Cobra Starship
Track 11 - "Rage", Chromeo
Track 12 - "Amen Omen", Ben Harper
Track 13 - "Megan", Smoking Popes/Bayside (either)
Track 14 - "1234", Feist
Track 15 - "Venus as a Boy", Bjork
Track 16 - "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea", Neutral Milk Hotel